Doug's Darkworld

War, Science, and Philosophy in a Fractured World.

Chocolate Jesus and how to survive a gallery opening

with 7 comments


Well, a showing of a 200 pound chocolate sculpture of a naked Jesus titled “My Sweet Lord” has been cancelled. Basically everyone involved realized that this statue had no artistic merit and was just some sleazy no talent “artist” with a talent for self promotion making a work he knew would get him publicity. People like him have done incalculable damage to the art world and real artists, and it’s high time they were ignored. If your art requires a “gimmick” to get noticed, it isn’t art and you aren’t an artist. Andy Warhol did it, he’s dead, all the modern Andy Warhol wannabes like this chocolate Jesus guy are just tedious.

Actually, the exhibit in question was cancelled because a lot of powerful Catholics found it highly offensive. I don’t really care one way or the other, I mean, it’s an art show people. I just wanted an excuse to vent what I thought about artists who make controversial work just for the attention it gets them. And a chance to pass on some sage advice I once heard about attending art shows or gallery openings or the like. My sources tell me that in order to blend into the art world at these events, three things are required:

1. Wear a black turtleneck sweater.

2. Wear Buddy Holly style glasses.

3. Be able to use the word “juxtaposed” in a sentence.

Who says I don’t post practical information on Doug’s Darkworld?

(The above AP image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It is not being used for profit and it is central to illustrating the post. Dear God let’s hope it doesn’t become a historically important image.)

Written by unitedcats

March 31, 2007 at 8:04 am

7 Responses

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  1. I always thought the phrase ‘inner struggle’ was required. But, juxtaposed is just fine. I know a couple of sentences. ;)


    March 31, 2007 at 10:24 am

  2. I’m with you and I am an artist. My partner and I make our living solely from our art work and we gave up attending these kinds of gimmicky openings years ago. Actually we had to. I couldn’t help myself. I lipped off all the high faluting art critics, university alumni and students, who were reading all kinds of “crappola” into our work and the inspiration for it that didn’t exist.

    Once while giving a demonstration of brushwork a loud mouth big belly remarked on how quickly I had accomplished my task and suggested that the price should be “adjusted”. I stared him directly in the eye and said: “Yup, it took only five minutes to paint and 30 years to learn how. ” Then I took out my sharpie, doubled the price tag and said to him: “would you like me to wrap that for you, sir?” Only a couple of people had enough courage to chuckle as he slithered off. I found out the following day that he was an art professor at a well thought of university … har, har , har!


    March 31, 2007 at 12:56 pm

  3. “1. Wear a black turtleneck sweater.

    2. Wear Buddy Holly style glasses.

    3. Be able to use the word “juxtaposed” in a sentence.”

    That’s hilarious!


    April 1, 2007 at 12:17 pm

  4. It wasn’t just the complaints from influential Catholics that forced the withdrawal of My Sweet Lord. There were death threats against the sculptor. (I am not partial to the Catholic League, but I assume they stop short of death threats.)


    April 1, 2007 at 8:33 pm

  5. I dunno, the Pope just recently re-affirmed the literal existence of Hell for sinners. Sounds like a death threat to me. hehe. —Doug


    April 1, 2007 at 8:38 pm

  6. Nail on the head once again, Doug.



    April 2, 2007 at 5:50 am

  7. I guess I’ll have to forget my idea of marketing small cubes of cheese at Christmas time as “Baby Cheeses” then.


    January 14, 2009 at 8:34 pm

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