Doug's Darkworld

War, Science, and Philosophy in a Fractured World.

God sent an angel to me, he said that unless everyone in America sends me 1$ in the next month, the End Times will be permanently postponed

with 4 comments

The Rapture

Heck, if even one person in a thousand comes though, I’ll still clear over $300K. Beats working for a living, that’s for sure. Yes, unless the gentle reader has been in a  coma, the rapture is scheduled for this Saturday. I’ve had people actually tell me that I would make a great cult leader. I … guess … that’s a compliment. Sadly I couldn’t take advantage of ignorant weak-willed people for my own personal aggrandizement. If that’s a personal failing, I can live with it.

So this Saturday I am having a Rapture BBQ. I hope many of my friends and neighbours show up. My balcony has a nice view of Oakland, where many of the current Rapture Cult reside. So I figure we will have a great view of the chosen ascending into heaven. And if some of the BBQ participants get chosen, well, might as well go to heaven on a full stomach.

So am I disrespecting people of faith with this post and this BBQ? No, I’m disrespecting doomsday cults. And they deserve disrespect. Doomsday cults promote ignorance, spread fear, and ruin lives. They are simply cons in the guise of a religion sucking money from rubes. Sure, they don’t all end up like Jim Jone’s cult did, but some do. And even if Jim Jone’s cult hadn’t committed mass suicide, it still ruined numerous lives.

And just to make myself perfectly clear, nothing is going to happen this Saturday. Jesus is dead, he’s not coming back, the rapture is superstitious nonsense. I’ve talked to people who should know better who claimed that “maybe” something will happen, or that they were keeping an “open mind” about it. Frankly I blame the media and our educational system for this sort of wishy-washy intellectual claptrap attitude. When someone is spewing lies that shouldn’t fool a twelve year old to make themselves rich, there’s no need to be open minded about it. People promoting doomsday crap are liars and charlatans, people who fall for them are fools.

The only thing positive about this non-event is that it has given atheists a higher profile … and is an excuse for a lot of parties. This life is all we get folks, make the best of it.

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It’s not being used for profit, t’s central to illustrating the post, and I’m linking too and plugging their fine web site: Post Rapture Pet Care. Yes, pets apparently aren’t going to be raptured.)


Written by unitedcats

May 21, 2011 at 5:53 am

4 Responses

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  1. Do the self appointed cult leaders, fed from their despaired followers, priding them self with knowledge no human could possibly posses, gain access to heaven?


    May 21, 2011 at 8:02 am

    • I have to remind myself
      reread when edit is not possible :(


      May 21, 2011 at 9:21 am

  2. “For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.”

    –2 Corinthians 11:13-15
    New King James Version (NKJV)

    Beware if “angel of light” appears before you and does not say he is from the Lord, Doug.


    July 31, 2012 at 6:13 pm

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