Doug's Darkworld

I have written a new introduction on my patreon main page. It gives a bit more background info on who I am and why I write. And includes a not particularly subtle request for people to become patrons. This is not a commercial venture, writing is my life, but I need more patrons to keep the wolf from the door. And as further incentive, I’m adding a new patron perk to sweeten the pot so to speak. Detailed below. And fear not, no matter what happens there will still be at least three public posts a week. More if I get more patrons. More patrons means more patron only content too.

Granted this is I may regret. The first five tier two patrons, that’s $10 month, I will see and review three movies of their choice per year. Only codicil is that it has to be a movie I can catch locally. Other than that, whatever goes. I survived a musical recently, so anything is possible. And honestly, going to see a movies I would not normally see could be fun. Assuming they are good movies. And if they are bad movies, well, the gentle reader will be warned off. I trust I am mature enough to tell the difference between a bad movie, and a movie I simply didn’t like. An important distinction I feel. And it should be pointed out, this gives people who actively dislike me a way to force me to see movies I hate. My old Navy friend can get revenge for tricking him into going to a Jane Fonda movie.

And so, to start this off I will review the last two movies I saw. First Aladdin. Oh my. No one warned me it was a musical, by the time I realized my fate, it was too late to make a gracious exit. I just went to my quiet place inside when musical numbers broke out. Being trained to resist torture is sometimes valuable in real life, who knew? And honestly, I don’t think it was a particularly good movie. I am also told it was an almost word for word remake of the previous animated version. The dance and music scenes were overblown. I didn’t find the main protagonist particularly likeable. The special effects were kinda cheesy.

Overall Aladdin seemed to suffer from what I call sequelitus, where they tried and make the movie even grander than the original. And just succeeded in making it over the top. Then there was the torture scene, which seemed a bit out of place in a Disney movie. Still, if one likes Disney movies, Will Smith, or Aladdin movies in general, might be fun. Acceptable for what it was, but nothing to write home about. Two out of four stars.

Then the movie I wanted to see. John Wick 3. Sheesh. I came out of the movie thinking “Was that a movie, or just a looped tape of Keanu Reeves shooting someone in the head?” OK, that’s a little unfair. He also used knives, horses, motorcycles, cars, and a book to kill people.  I’d say this movie also suffered from sequelitus, except this was one of the rare occasions where it worked. This installment was bigger and badder than the previous two in a good way. I LOLed a few times during the movie, which is rare for me. Even though it was over-the-top in many ways, it didn’t take itself too seriously.

So yes, if one liked the previous John Wick movies, go see this movie. Four stars. Otherwise, no, one star. Unless one finds the idea of watching Keanu Reeves shooting and stabbing people pretty much nonstop for two hours appealing. Not everyone’s movie. Sometimes though mindless violence is just the thing. I told that to my housemate and asked if he wanted to go see it. He said no, but if I wanted some mindless violence, he was happy to punch me. Helpful guy. And there will be a John Wick 4. Now that will be interesting, how many killings can be fit into a two hour movie?  I suppose we will find out in 2020.

PSA regarding the horse kicking scenes. For those not raised on farms. The back end of a horse is indeed very dangerous. Do no ever walk behind a horse, and if it can’t be avoided, whatever you do don’t startle the horse. Their first instinct is to kick, and getting kicked by a horse is a life changing, if not life ending, event. Way too many people get their knowledge about animals from Disney movies, it rarely ends well.

I hope everyone is having a good week. As always, many thanks to my readers, patrons or not.

Copyright © 2019 Doug Stych. All rights reserved.

(Image: View of Saint-Mammès Credit: Alfred Sisley 1839-1899 Sisley is possibly my favorite painter of all time, I share his works when the mood takes me. Enjoy.)