Doug's Darkworld

War, Science, and Philosophy in a Fractured World.

Posts Tagged ‘UFO

Alien Conspiracy Theories, is the US Government Concealing the Truth?

with 6 comments

I started this post, like so many others, with research. Well, even a modicum of research shows that a huge percentage of the US population believes the government knows more about aliens than they are letting on. Maybe 50% or more of the population, though depends on the poll and just what is being asked. It’s an astounding percentage to me. Live and learn I guess, I had more or less thought this was a fringe belief that not too many people take seriously. I was wrong. Hell, more Americans may believe in this conspiracy than believe the earth is 7,000 years old. I … guess … this is a good thing.

Does this widespread belief in a  US government cover-up about aliens indicate there might be something to it? Sadly, no. People believe all sorts of silly things, the ugly truth is that people are highly suggestible. And the cultural phenomena that might engender such a widespread belief has long and deep roots going back to the fifties. In other words, starting in the late forties, a lot of people starting making a lot of money writing UFO books  that claimed the US government had knowledge of aliens. Some were best sellers in their day, even if they are forgotten now. (Helpfully illustrated above.) So it’s no wonder that so many people believe in alien cover-up conspiracies, and the government’s own schizophrenia on the topic hasn’t helped any either. One has to remember that even when governments and bureaucrats and military people haven’t  a clue to what’s going on, that’s the one thing they never ever want to let on. Understanding this for example  makes the current US government position on the Afghanistan War a lot easier to follow, but I digress. Well, if the government is hiding evidence of UFOs, it’s not a very well kept secret.

So, psychological and folkloric aspects of the topic aside, how to approach this situation. There’s a lot of directions to look, but let’s look at technology transfer. If say, the US government, has secret contact with aliens, what are they getting for it? Well, wouldn’t technology be something the government would covet beyond all else? And here, we have a problem. If the US government has obtained alien technology, they certainly haven’t put it to use. According to comic books and movies and sadly the mainstream media, we have all sorts of amazing military gadgetry now. Well, yes and no. One must understand that we are still flying B-52s, a plane that was built in the 1950s. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there does not seem to be any technology in use on Earth that doesn’t have long established roots in human science and knowledge. Worse, this extends back in history. I don’t know of any example of “out-of-time” technology. No Roman electric generators, no medieval nuclear piles, nada. Even the Anitkythera device, amazing as it is, doesn’t show evidence of alien influence.

Moving on, in a strictly empirical physical sense, if we’ve had interactions with interstellar travelling aliens, no one has managed to ever steal so much as a paper clip, let alone a death ray? There are all sorts of ways an artifact made by another civilization on another planet by another species would have telltale physical characteristics. It would be unmistakable, especially if late twentieth century scientists examined it. Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but no such artifact has surfaced. Either currently, or in the historical record. And yeah, there’s ways one can explain away objections like these and still maintain a “secret government contact with aliens” theory, but when one has to start explaining away objections to a theory, the theory rapidly gets less viable.

Which segues into my favourite alien conspiracy theory. The “aliens are crafty little buggers theory.” In this theory, the USA did indeed make contact with aliens in the 1940s. And cut a deal with them. They would give us technology, and in exchange they would get to do “medical experiments” on us. And they hoodwinked us, the technology they gave us was useless, and they have abducted huge numbers of Americans and conducted bizarre medical experiments on them. In other words, and I hope people can follow this, the aliens did to the US government what the Dutch did to the Indians … bought Manhattan with beads and trinkets. IE our government was tricked into giving aliens “legal” access to the only thing about humanity that might be of value as a galactic commodity exchange, the very nature of our beings and our DNA, in exchange for, well, what?

I like this theory because it not only explains all the evidence, especially and including why the US government (or any government for that matter) is reluctant to reveal what they know about aliens. Who would want to be the one to reveal that not only did the US government contact aliens, they hoodwinked us out of the only thing we had of value in the galactic market? Maybe even sold us into galactic slavery for all practical purposes? Even Obama would have a hard time with that, although, honestly, no one could do it better. The man does have a silver tongue. Maybe that’s why the powers that be had him elected? Now I’m scaring myself.

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. Basically it is a low resolution reproduction of the original, is not being used for profit, and it’s use here is in no way interfering with the copyright holder’s commercial use of the image, arguably the opposite. And the author of the book passed in 98, so I think I’m in the clear. Credit and copyright: Cosimo Classics. For the record, I don’t think any current government has contact with aliens or secret knowledge of aliens, but I certainly don’t think it’s impossible. I just don’t see any evidence of it.)

Written by unitedcats

July 21, 2010 at 6:13 am

Roswell, the Quintessential UFO Case

with 4 comments

Who hasn’t heard of Roswell? It’s a UFO case so famous that it has become a part of our culture and folklore. Star Trek, DS9 did an episode about it. In fact there was even a short lived sci fi series named “Roswell.” It’s not an exageration to say that the Roswell case is possibly the most important UFO case ever in the USA, and is responsible for a huge percentage of the population not only believing in UFOs, but believing that the government is concealing information about them. Again, cultural references to this are so common as to be essentially mainstream, the scene in the movie Independence Day for example, when it is revealed that the USA has a captured alien spacecraft from Roswell. Roswell is common knowledge.

The basics of the Roswell case are fairly simple. In the summer of 1947 a ranch hand found some strange debris about fifty miles north of Roswell, New Mexico. He brought some to town, the local Air Force base was called, they recovered the debris and announced that a “flying saucer” had been captured. See above headline. To put it mildly, this generated some national interest, and headlines in many papers in the west also announced the capture of the flying saucer. Alas, the next day the Air Force announced it had all been a misunderstanding, and that actually only debris from a  weather balloon had been found. And that was that, for the next thirty years Roswell was forgotten about. Until the late nineteen seventies when some UFO researchers starting looking into the case. They found hundreds of witnesses, and a vast array of stories about a variety of crash sites, recovered alien bodies (or even living aliens,) and evidence of a massive government cover up. Books were written, people got on talk shows, and the rest, shall we say, is history.

OK, there’s a lot to cover here, but I’m going to simplify it. I’m not going to discuss all the witnesses and such that were discovered or came forward in the nineteen seventies and later. I’m sorry, but human memory is very fallible, and very susceptible to suggestion. And I know it’s hard for some people to fathom, but plenty of people lie and make stuff up all the time to get attention. So trying to wade through the later recollections and figure out what is what is a minefield at best, and since not a single one of these later witnesses had a shred of empirical evidence to back up their stories, I feel justified in saying “who knows” and ignoring them for the scope of this post. The one aspect of the later day witnesses which does seem interesting to me is that the Air Force’s first man on the scene, Major Jesse Marcel, insisted that the material recovered, while superficially resembling that from which a balloon was made, nonetheless had unearthly characteristics. “Paper” and “wood” that wouldn’t burn for example, or metal as thin as tinfoil that couldn’t be bent with a sledgehammer. Curious, nu? And to the day he died he maintained that something unearthly had crashed at Roswell.

With this as our only data set, IE the basic crash and the Major’s insistence, what can we speculate? Well, the “official” version for one. What crashed was a contemporary top secret balloon project the US Army Air Force was conducting, a Project Mogul. The Flying Saucer and then weather balloon story we’re concocted to hide the fact that a rancher had found pieces of a top secret project, put them in a pick up truck, and brought them to town and passed them around. It doesn’t take much imagination to see why the Army might want to be a bit coy about this. And the Major’s insistence the material was extraterrestrial? That was just the army running a disinformation campaign for the benefit of the Soviets. It couldn’t hurt to have the Russians wasting their intelligence efforts seeking non-existent information on a  US recovered flying saucer. That’s the sceptical version in a nutshell, it explains the original evidence, and Occam’s Razor says it is the most likely explanation. I certainly wouldn’t want to debate someone who maintains this position, because logically, it’s the soundest position.

However, and it’s a pretty big however, just because it is the most logical explanation doesn’t mean it is the correct one. Occam’s Razor says that the simplest explanation is the most likely to be correct, but it does not in any way shape or form “prove” that it is correct. It’s like criminal profiling. A suspect may fit the profile of a crime to a T, but that isn’t “proof” of anything, merely an indication that that suspect should be investigated very carefully. This is a point that a lot of people, even very smart and educated people, founder upon. And frankly, if everyone thought this way, we’d still be living naked in the woods eating grubs, because sometimes the simplest most logical approach lacks, shall we say, imagination. And looking outside the lines is how all discoveries are made. Sceptics have their place, but they aren’t always right.

So in that vein, here are my two alternate theories about what may have happened at Roswell. The first is that an alien unmanned probe crashed. And a probe that may very well have been some sort of balloon like device. Instruments suspended from a balloon would be a great way to explore an alien planet. One could explore vast amounts of territory, vastly more than a stationary probe, or even a rover, could explore. And it would avoid hazards on the ground, and could gather data on weather as well. And if such a device was built by aliens who were hundreds or thousands of years ahead of us technologically, we’d learn basically nothing from it. Even if it had wonderful exotic materials in it, we wouldn’t have a clue how to make them. I like this explanation because it also explains all the available evidence, including the good major’s insistence that it was extraterrestrial. And why we haven’t learned anything from it, because trying to figure out anything from the broken pieces of a device vastly in advance of our technology would be hopeless. If for example one dropped a car out of an aeroplane over an ancient Greek or Roman town, would the best scientists of their day be able to glean anything from the pieces? Likely they wouldn’t have a clue. So I like this explanation, and hope that if it’s true, someday a piece of material from the crash site comes to light. We may not learn anything from it, but modern science could at least determine it wasn’t made by humans. And that indeed would be something.

The second possibility is that aliens or alien bodies were recovered. OK, let’s assume that happened. Well, if a couple of alien bodies or even living aliens were recovered, wouldn’t that strongly imply that there was a serious alien presence on Earth? I mean, they wouldn’t just send a couple of fellows on a interstellar voyage would they? It would seem likely that there would be a mother ship or an alien base around if we captured a small ship with a small crew of aliens. And what would these aliens do if such occurred? Especially since we are talking beings who have considerably more advanced technology than us? I would assume that within hours of the capture/crash … alien “special forces” would have recovered the bodies/aliens and  spacecraft debris, likely in ways that we simply wouldn’t even notice, let alone be able to counter. This explanation also has the beauty of neatly explaining all the evidence. I mean, imagine the confusion, Army personnel have what are clearly actual aliens and debris from an alien space craft in their possession … and within hours it all simply vanishes.

Those are my three possible Roswell scenarios. Note than the alien special forces could also account for the lack of evidence in the unmanned alien probe  scenario as well. I will freely admit that my take on aliens here is highly anthropomorphic, but for the purposes of this series of posts, I’m assuming that aliens are somewhat like us. Otherwise, there’s no point even speculating. So yeah, I’m looking where the light is best, but hey, we still might find a key here. And who knows what lock it may fit. Tomorrow, the fourth Roswell possibility. Maybe living aliens were involved, and the incident resulted in contact, possibly ongoing contact, between some alien entity and the US government. I’d say cue Twilight Zone Music, but in this case it is be more accurate to say cue “The Outer Limits” music. Stay tuned.

(The above image is such an iconic and oft reproduced image that I’m sure it falls under the aegis of Fair Use under US copyright law. And yes, I’ve waited years to use “aegis” in a sentence. It’s one of those incredibly cool words, like defenestration or treppenwitz, that almost never get called into play. Moving right along, for the sake of argument, I’m going to claim that all three of my options presented above are possible. The Project Mogul argument, the unmanned probe argument, and the manned crash/alien special forces argument. Prove me wrong.)

Written by unitedcats

July 20, 2010 at 6:48 am

UFO week on Doug’s Darkworld

with 5 comments

As promised on last week’s post, this week I’m going to cover UFOs. There’s a number of reasons for this. For one thing it’s a popular topic and it’s been in the news lately. Secondly, since my sea change in January, I’m reviewing everything I once knew, since in some cases turns out the new Doug sees things the old Doug didn’t. And lastly, a secret admirer wanted me to look into the subject more. So with all that in mind, I’m going to cover a few famous cases, UFOs in history, alien abductions, conspiracy theories, and crop circles. Suggestions are welcome.

I think the first thing that comes to mind when I think about aliens, is that  how most people envision them is so incredibly anthropomorphic as to be ridiculous. When humans get out there and start exploring the galaxy, I’m willing to bet we are going to find all sorts of utterly mind bending stuff that no one imagined in their wildest dreams. I mean, even our categories may be way off. One of my thoughts along these lines is that maybe life on Earth isn’t even actual life. Maybe DNA was invented by real life, which is based on something incomprehensibly different than DNA. Or maybe Earth and the Solar System are extremely unusual, and not only will we find the Galaxy incomprehensible, maybe it will be so different from what we are used to that the idea that we can colonize other star systems may be ludicrous. We just don’t know until we get out there and look.

Another codicil, which I mentioned in my last post, if alien intelligence is ubiquitous in the galaxy, and interstellar travel is reasonably practical, then the aliens are already here. And on that note, another anecdote about aliens among us. Some year back an acquaintance described to me an experience they had. They were out and about and someone walked by them on the sidewalk. And the sidewalk shook as if the person walking by weighed far more than a normal person. My friend even checked after they went by, and the sidewalk was solid. Well, a couple years back, I had the same experience. A person walked by who literally made the ground shake, yet to all appearances they were just a normal person. And I did the same thing my friend did, I stomped around on the sidewalk after they left to see if maybe there was loose concrete or something. Nada, solid as, well, a sidewalk. Could aliens be wandering around in the guise of super-heavy probes disguised as humans? Beats me.

Which brings us to the heart of the matter, when it comes to aliens and UFOs, anecdotes are pretty much all we have. I have no problems with anecdotal evidence, many of history’s greatest discoveries were preceded by anecdotal evidence. The big problem with them is that they are easy to dismiss, if not actually ridicule. A sceptical-on-crack attitude I try my best to avoid. The biggest problem with anecdotal evidence is that humans are terrible witnesses. Most people think that their eyes are little cameras sending images to their brains, and that’s quite simply not the case at all. The world we see around us is an incredibly processed image, just as one very rudimentary example, how many people see the “blind spot” in their visual field? It’s actually pretty big, but the brain fills it in with data from the other eye. There’s a nice demonstration of it here. The point here is that when people see something that their brain can’t easily understand, the brain will literally make up information to try and fit what is being observed into a category they can understand.

A wonderful example of this are early UFO reports from the fifties. In the USA the ball got rolling with sighting of “flying saucers.” And for years, even to today, many people report seeing flying saucer type objects when they report a UFO. In Brazil, however, the term was translated as “flying disk” … and that’s what people started reporting seeing! Is this proof that UFOs don’t exist? Of course not, but it is proof that UFO reports are highly subjective and it would be wise not to take them too literally.

In any event, I aim to have a bit of fun with this as well. You have been warned!

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It’s been reproduced in so many places over the past sixty years that for all practical purposes it’s public domain. It’s long been exposed as a hoax, a crude manipulated photograph. The original has apparently been located, but I wasn’t able to run it down on line. Forgetomori does a an outline of the history of the photo, known as Die Fälscher Alien. I chose it becasue it is kind of a creepy picture, that’s always impressed me about it. And sadly to show just how ubiquitous UFO hoaxes are, they have muddied the waters since the very beginning. As esteemed reader Pyrodin pointed out, the more chaff we sort through, the more likely we are to find wheat. Let’s get sorting.)

Written by unitedcats

July 19, 2010 at 8:39 am

Posted in History, Paranormal, Science

Tagged with ,

Chinese UFO Sighting, the Death of Internet Journalism, and my own Personal Alien Abduction Story

with 4 comments

I think the Internet is doing to journalism what television did to entertainment. Dumbed it down and cheapened it to the point of mass brain damage. If TV is the opiate of the masses, the Internet is its crack. Case in point, the recent Chinese UFO flap where a UFO shut down a major airport for over an hour. It was all over the mainstream media, often with the caveat that a “source” said it was due to a “military” thing, and there would be more info forthcoming. Many pictures of the UFO circulated, the one above being possibly the most prominent. Well, how much of the UFO story is true? Part of it at least, a pilot did indeed report seeing a UFO and the airport was shut down for an hour as a precaution. And that’s the facts of the case. The “source” and the pictures circulating are all, well, made up. The pics are images from previous hoaxes or contests or prosaic rocket launches. The one above is a hoax, and a very common on at that. It’s part of a plane fuselage, but the camera was moved while the shutter was open, notice how the buildings are all blurred.

But the Chinese pilot, he must have seen something? Yes, he did. And from the direction he was flying he probably saw the planet Venus. To people who have never seen Venus on a dark night, that may sound ridiculous; but under the right conditions when Venus is very bright and near the horizon, it has been the source of many a UFO report. So there really isn’t even a story here, at least from what I can tell. Granted I’m taking this all from the fine Forgetomori post on the topic, but it seems well researched and I can’t find any fault with it. Which illustrates how so much garbage gets disseminated on the Internet, it’s easy to promulgate garbage, it’s hard to do the research and separate the wheat from the chaff. So more often than not silliness gets copied and pasted and posted a million times over before anyone can track down the truth of it. And by then it’s too late. Add to that the human tendency to accept input that reinforces people’s beliefs and reject input that contradicts them, and there ya have it, world-o-fools.

Of course it’s entirely possible that I am doing the same thing, so if anyone cares to point out the error of my ways I will be glad to re-examine the issue. In fact this post is the start of another series on UFOs, since they seem such a popular topic. I’m going to discuss a number of famous sightings, I encourage readers to submit sightings they want covered. I also want to look at the conspiracy side of this a little closer, how likely is it that the government knows more than they are letting on about UFOs? And to start this off, my own personal abduction story. Make of it what one wills, I have no clue.

This was in the late eighties, I lived in a big flat roofed house in the Berkeley hills. This was the height of the Whitley Streiber era, alien abductions were the latest thing and in the news. I was doing some renovation on the house, and I had a couple of young women as a work crew. At one point they spent a night in the spare bedroom, as they had no car and it made getting to work easier. On this night I was awakened by a police helicopter shining its spotlight down in the neighbourhood, that occasionally happens in the big city. It woke me up, but I was too tired to move and just lay there a bit until the light and noise moved away. I mean, I thought it was a police helicopter, I didn’t actually get up and look.

And that was that, I didn’t think any more about it. Well, a few weeks later I was having lunch with my crew and somehow the topic came up, and I asked “Hey, did you see the police helicopter and the search light the night you were staying up at the house?” They both got really quiet and looked at me funny. I’m like, what’s up? They explained. Yes, there had been a terribly bright light shining in their window that night. It had scared the beejesus out of them, and they had been afraid to move all night long. And when they saw me in the morning all freaked out about it, I had told them “Oh, it’s OK, a spaceship landed on the roof during the night.” Well, I have absolutely no memory of saying anything like that whatsoever. I am to this day mystified by the whole experience. I have a pretty good memory, especially when jogged. I mean, I recently read some old magazines for the seventies and there was stuff in them I remembered. It’s hard for me to imagine making a joke like this, and almost impossible for me to imagine making a joke like this and utterly forgetting about it in just a few weeks.

So … who knows. Since my metanoia in January I’ve realized that my thinking about some things has changed when I re-examine them. Of course I’ve always loved re-examining things from new perspectives, that seems unchanged. And my personal core belief, belied by my “aliens don’t exist argument,” is that if hi-tech aliens and interstellar travel are more or less likely to exist (one uses optimistic number for the Drake equation,) then by extension … they’re already here. And I have  a few more anecdotes like the one above in support of that idea, and I encourage readers to share.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

(The above image is so all over the Internet that they need to make up a new copyright classification to cover it. I’m claiming it as Fair Use under US copyright law. The plane’s landing lights, continuously on, make the white streak at the bottom. The lights on top of the wings were strobing, IE turning on and off, which is why they look like windows. It’s sooooooo easy to fake things with photographs, the real mystery is why anyone takes them seriously.)

Written by unitedcats

July 17, 2010 at 6:18 pm

No, Aliens Will Not be Solving All of Our Problems; plus Fermi’s Paradox Solved and Alien Abductions Explained.

with 5 comments

"Hold still, this won't hurt ... much."

I’ve been reading a book about SETI and boy, it’s everything and then some one would ever want to know about SETI, the “Search for Extraterrestrial intelligence.” In excruciating detail, page after page, chapter after chapter. And everything we have discovered about alien intelligence can be summed up in five words: “We don’t have a clue.” So, um, it’s not a very exciting book, but it sure is detailed. Reminds me of medieval scientists debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. I don’t recommend reading it unless SETI is a lifetime interest or better yet, an obsession.

Moving right along, the book does have a few interesting points which I will get too by and by. The first point is in fact what drove me to write this blog post. There are many chapters on the possible consequences of contact with aliens, something about which people have given a  great deal of thought. And there’s a whole school of thought about superior aliens giving us the solutions to our problems, and how that would effect our culture. Our energy shortages, our food shortages, war, cancer, disease, all the myriad problems that humans face today  … many believe that aliens can or will solve these problems. From dyed-in-the-wool Roswell cultists to serious social scientists people have debated the possibility of aliens solving our problems for us. Even the late President Reagan had thoughts along these lines.

Um, I have a problem with this alien saviour idea. Several problems in fact. And thank goodness, if I agreed with everything I read, this would be a very boring blog. First off, the stunning similarity between hoping and expecting aliens to solve our problems to the ancient idea that God/angels/the saviour will come and solve our problems. If a modern idea looks just like an ancient fairy tale except for a few props, what, exactly, is the difference?  In other words this isn’t a new idea at all, and is so archetypal to human culture and civilization, that’s it’s hard for me to avoid the conclusion that the “aliens will save us” idea is just wishful thinking. Yeah, we’re too “modern” to believe God will fix everything for us, but it’s OK to believe that equally imaginary aliens will do so? No, it’s not OK, in fact it’s equally as illogical, at least until there is some indication that intelligent aliens even exist.

Secondly, even a cursory look at how “superior civilizations” on Earth have helped out their less advanced brethren speaks very poorly of the idea that a superior alien civilization will be able to help us out. Most of the efforts to “help out” the natives on this planet have been cynical in the extreme, painfully misguided, and often both at once. And the results have not been pretty. Sure, some have fared better than others. Japan adopted western civilization with amazing aplomb, the Maoris did OK for themselves, Tonga held out for a long time … but for the most part civilizations that came into contact with more modern civilizations have been reduced to museum exhibits, scholarly treatises, and mass graves. And their people, if they survived, are second class citizens to this day. If the native Americans had any clue what the future held for them, they would have finished the job at Jamestown and every other settlement the Europeans tried to set up.

Lastly, and the reason I find people’s belief in beneficial aliens solving our problems to be so deluded, is this. We don’t have any problems! With modern technology and industry we live in an age of unbelievable wealth and productivity. In almost any area one mentions we now have resources and tools that even 50-100 years ago were undreamed of. In fact it’s safe to say that in the entire modern era, since the widespread construction of factories, steamships, and railroads … we have had the ability to easily house and clothe and feed the world’s population at very acceptable standards. And our powers have grown since then. People are not dying of starvation, disease, lack of clean water, lack of shelter, or any of the other “problems” the vast majority of the world’s populations suffers through because there are shortages or we don’t know how to provide these. The food Americans throw away would feed 200 million people for god’s sake. People are dying for lack of modern amenities because of distribution problems, period. And these problems are caused by greed and politics and racism and religion and corruption all the other wonderful attributes that separate us from the animals. I mean, how can it be described as a problem … if were doing it to ourselves?

The aliens aren’t flying over head thinking “Gee, let’s give these guys some machines that will turn dirt into food, and boy, all their problems will be solved!” No, they’re flying over head saying “Oh, Dear god, would you look at that? Those people are starving, how come no one’s bringing them any food? And look over there, they are filling up that gulf with toxic hydrocarbons! And there, there, did you see that … they are blowing each other up! I don’t believe this!  What’s wrong with these creatures?!” I mean let’s be real, how else would superior beings react? Unless they can somehow tie us all to some sort of super alien psychiatrist’s couch and fix the tangled knots in our heads, giving us more gadgets and knowledge isn’t going to help.

In conclusion, I have thus solved both Fermi’s Paradox and the alien abduction phenomenon. Fermi wondered why we don’t see any aliens despite the arguments that alien intelligence should be common in the Universe, the “where is everybody” theorem? They’re hiding from us because we are clearly nucking futs as a species. Would you contact people who strapped bombs on their bodies and blew each other up, or built super remote control machines so that bored teenagers in Kansas can blow up wedding parties on the other side of the globe? Of course not, especially if you’re a superior, intelligent alien. And alien abductions, well, the superior aliens are trying to help. They’re doing their best to figure out what’s wrong with us. And they clearly aren’t making much progress.

So if you wake up in the middle of the night and aliens are dragging you into an operating theatre and preparing to insert probes in various bodily orifices, stay calm, they’re just trying to help. And better yet, even if you’re uninsured they’ll still treat you and there’s no copay! Yes, the aliens are socialists. Have a great weekend everyone.

(The above image is claimed as Fair Use under US copyright law. It’s not being used for profit and is central to illustrating the post. Plus the original user is apparently distributing the movie the image is promoting for free, so I can’t be interfering with their commercial use of the image. Credit and copyright: Alien Abduction 2009. I have an alien abduction story all of my own, I suppose I should write about it someday. Heck,  readers are welcome to share their own alien abduction stories, I can rewrite them and post them anonymously even.)

Written by unitedcats

June 25, 2010 at 10:58 am